Vacation distraction
by davpo
Summary: seems like bond can't even have a vacation without getting into trouble


_**James Bond 007 **_**in**

Vacation Distraction

Written by Davpo

- Last time we saw bond he was lying on a beach with Ivanta, in Malaysia, suddenly without warning a speed boat came whizzing passed and splashed James Bond.

Bond: Do they not know who I am? They are not going to get away with that. 

- A jet ski was nearby and Bond chased after the speed boat.

He was right behind them, they turned a corner and disappeared. 

Bond: Where did they go?

- At headquarters 'M' got a message through the fax machine. 'drugs being smuggled in Malaysia'.

'M': Where is Bond when you need him?

John: There was this guy chasing me Mr jellyfish I almost didn't lose him.

Mr Jellyfish: I can't have no more failures John, this is your last chance.

John: Thank you Mr Jellyfish.

Mr Jellyfish: Kate, find out who this mysterious interfering asshole is.

Kate: On my way boss.

Mr Jellyfish: No one will stop me and my plans, not some over grown muscle bound idiot. 

No not you John.

Kate: Hi.

Bond: Hi, can I get you a drink?

Kate: Sure, I'm Kate. Kate Dream.

Bond (you certainly are) The names Bond, James Bond.

Kate: Well Mr bond, I hope you like sleeping…

Bond: What have you done?

Kate: I have drugged you, good night Mr Bond. No one messes with SPECTRE.

Bond: S P E C T R E, I have heard of you.

Kate: Glad we are becoming famous, see you around Mr Bond.

Bond: I will get you all…

Kate: I don't think so. (Wow he lasted 5 minutes, longer then most people). Take him to the boss.

Ivanta: James? Stop playing around James, Where are you?

'M': This is 'M' calling Bond, Bond are you there?

Ivanta: I don't know where he is. But I will try to find him for you.

'M': (sigh) Bond and his women.

Mr Jellyfish: Ah Mr Bond I presume, Kate tells me you are quite the swimmer, care to put that to the test?

Bond: And you are?

Mr Jellyfish: Mr Jellyfish of SPECTRE. You think you can stop me Mr Bond, go ahead and try.

If you go any closer the drugs will get flushed away.

Bond: I had no idea about the drugs.

John: Then why were you chasing me,

Bond: You splashed me.

Mr Jellyfish: None of that matters now Mr Bond, you know too much and so you must die.

But first I will tell you my ingenious plan. I will smuggle drugs inside this bread, ingenious isn't it, the people of Africa they eat the bread, they all suddenly get hooked on the bread for reasons they don't know and who's door will they knock on when they want more. Ours Mr Bond. Drugs can be good for your health.

Bond: Drugs are addictive, what about the side affects? The drowsiness.

Mr jellyfish: So there will be a few less people in the world. It doesn't matter Mr Bond, and the only thing you will tell are the fishes, throw him in the tank.

Oh Mr Bond did I tell you I tested my drugs out on these Crocodiles, they are so addicted to the drugs they will do anything. And guess what Mr Bond, I have put drugs in your pocket. Good bye Mr Bond.

Bond: All this because I followed someone who splashed me, what have I gotten myself into?

- Bond was inside the crocodiles tank, if the crocodiles didn't kill him then drowning would. He had to do something fast, but he was all tied up. He tried to mouth to Kate.

Bond: Kate help me.

Kate; Aww touching you want me to help you Mr Bond, get rid of the annoying crocodiles for you, you should have thought of that before.

- There was only one thing for it. Bond faced the crocodile managing somehow to grab hold of his jaws, the crocodile turned round and hit Bond in the face with it's tail, bond knew it was going for a long charge, if he could time this right… the crocodile came speeding along using it's jaws.

Bond : There is no way I'm going to die like this.

- Bond dodged out of the way and the crocodile hit the glass, a small crack formed in the glass.

Water started escaping, Bond could finally get some air, but not for long the crocodile was on his trail and charged again forcing Bond into the glass, shattering the glass, Bond winded but free, took some of the piece of glass and used it to cut his ropes. Then he felt really brave and grabbed the crocodile and flung it at Mr jellyfish, who was escaping in a jet ski.

Bond: Looks like he's hungry for his dinner.

Mr Jelly: Nice Croc, nice Croc, you wouldn't hurt me would you, Curse you Mr bond!

Bond escaped with the jet ski leaving Mr jellyfish behind. 

But all is not over oh no, Mr jellyfish tricked the crocodile and threw some drugs in a different direction, the crocodile leaped on the drugs. Mr jellyfish escaped, and swore he would have his revenge on James Bond. 

Mr Jellyfish (on the phone) yea Blowfelt, this is your cousin here, Mr jellyfish I have a problem that I want you to sort out for me, his name is James Bond. 

Ivanta: James where have you been.

Bond: I was a bit tied up, but I'm ok now.

'M': Bond!

Bond: It was SPETRE 'M'

'M': Seems like to me Bond that they are one to look out for.

Bond: As long as they don't cross me.

'M': Bond they will be after you, you made them angry.

Bond: (sigh yet another mission for James bond)


End file.
